Whilst treatment might be going well up to a point, sometimes your treatment is halted, or you fail to conceive this month. So, you can go from experiencing joy that you are making good progress, to then be confronted with despair and grief. It is challenging and gruelling, however long your journey, with every month that passes while you are struggling to conceive and longing to hold your baby in your arms.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone you care about, or the baby you miscarried, or grieving for that baby you so long to conceive and love. Everyone’s experiences are personal, there’s no right or wrong way to go through the grieving process. The important thing is to let yourself grieve and mourn – take as much time as you and your partner need to recover.

Counsellors talk about grieving in terms of stages to work through. There are five stages of natural emotions people experience as they grieve. You may feel all of them or some of them, and the emotions may not necessarily be in this order:

• Denial: Shock that this can’t be happening to me
• Anger: Why is this happening to me? What caused this to happen? Feeling resentment
• Depression: Giving up and feeling helpless, loss of self-image, why can’t I be a parent?
• Bargaining: Try to regain control of your emotions and act: I will review my diet, lifestyle, etc. to change
• Acceptance: This is the situation, learn from it and start to make plans, however the future will unfold

Knowing that you are coping with your emotions and recognising the stages might give you confidence to be open and to have those more honest conversations. ‘Acceptance’ might mean of a life without children or re-evaluating your options to starting a family. Take time to make decisions and find perspective for you and your partner.

Infertility is one of the biggest challenges that life can throw at you. It’s important to learn how to take care of yourself and your emotional wellbeing, and also to recognise that you are not alone on your journey. There are many charities, communities and social media fertility support groups out there who understand what you are going through. Whether through family, friends, support networks or fertility professionals, try to make sure you get the support you need at every stage of your fertility journey.

Studies show that women and men with fertility issues are more than twice as likely to suffer from depression. According to Dr Alice Domar at the Domar Centre for Mind/Body Health “Women undergoing infertility treatments exhibit high anxiety and/or high depressive scores at the start of treatment as well as over the course of treatment.”

Whether you are sharing your journey with family and friends, or keeping it very private affair, how do you cope with these emotions of feeling anxious, depressed, helpless and maybe isolated?

Whilst your fertility specialist can help with the practical side of fertility treatment, they are not able to provide the emotional support you may need. So, it’s a good idea to talk to people who have been through the process of treatment to ask questions. It can be difficult to express your emotions to those who don’t understand the distress you may be going through. Get a counsellor that specialises in helping with infertility, as they can be an invaluable support for you personally.

There are also many charities, communities and social media fertility support groups out there to help you on your fertility journey, who really understand what you are going through and can help you realise you are not alone.

Looking after your health and wellbeing is paramount on this long road to conception, and getting healthy is important for expectant mothers for both their health and for the baby. Try to find ways to enjoy a healthy lifestyle and minimise stress.

• Plenty of rest – Going through fertility treatment can be really tough emotional and physically so make time to rest and reduce the number of social engagements there is always time for them, but there maybe be the only chance for fertility treatment so give it your best opportunity, so an least you can reflect that you have no regrets because you tried your best rather than over exerted yourself with work and social engagements, leaving you exhausted.
• Acknowledge your emotions – Try to understand its ok to feel like this, it will past try to let go of any negative feelings of frustration, resentment and anger. Try to find ways to lift your mood and stay level headed. Balance being optimistic with realism
• Get fertility fit – Get in shape with a healthy BMI and make sure you enjoy your exercise plan. Exercise to not only get into shape but to help release endorphins, chemicals in your brain that make you feel good and reduce stress
• Give yourself head space – Learn skills to recognise your emotions and behaviours and find coping strategies meditations, breathing exercises
• Keep talking – Communication is important especially with those close to you, explain how you feel.
• Digital detox – Reduce your time on smart phone and tablets to calm your mind, learn to switch off and relax
• Diet – A nutritional diet plan is essential for both you and your partner. It’s important to have a balanced intake of all the nutrients and supplements you need for fertility treatment, to nourish the body and boost fertility a nutritional diet plan is essential for both you and your partner.
• Get enough sleep – Sleep helps to rejuvenate the mind and body, try to get between seven to nine hours of sleep a night.

Infertility is one of the biggest challenges that life can throw at you. No matter how long your fertility journey may be, try to be resilient and manage the agonising waiting and anticipation through mindfulness practices and coping strategies. Try to learn to observe your feelings, thoughts, and how your body is coping.

From personal experience having cycles of IVF treatment, you need to find coping strategies that work for you and your partner. I found writing a journal helped me face my emotions and develop coping strategies to deal with them. The journal was a support in the next cycle of IVF, as it’s hard to remember when you are going through it at the time. With so much hormonal change and sometimes the experiences that you go through, you may want to block them out and not remember. But you need to stay focused on the current course of treatment and hope for a more positive outcome this time around.

It’s an intense time, so you need to minimise your stress and stay calm and positive to enhance your chances of conceiving and surviving the emotional rollercoaster of IVF. You need to look back and know that you tried your best, whatever the outcome may be.
My fertility yoga DVD can help you to relax and give you the strength and confidence to trust your body on your fertility journey. Watch the taster video here: http://www.fertilityyoga.co.uk/infertility-yoga/

Undergoing fertility treatment can be a challenging and stressful time, without factoring in hormones, numerous trips to the fertility clinic for treatments, and the fertility drugs, which can affect your mood. Studies show that women and men with fertility issues are more than twice as likely to suffer from depression. According to Dr Alice Domar at the Domar Centre for Mind/Body Health, “Women undergoing infertility treatments exhibit high anxiety and/or high depressive scores at the start of treatment as well as over the course of treatment.” It is important to acknowledge the stress and how you and your partner are feeling emotionally.

Anyone who is experiencing infertility, or has been through fertility treatment, would describe it as “an emotional rollercoaster journey”. Each stage of a fertility journey can bring extreme highs and lows of emotions, and each person will cope with these emotions differently.

Once you know your fertility options and have made a fertility treatment plan with your fertility doctor, the anticipation of starting treatment can be an exciting but also apprehensive and stressful time. Both you and your partner need to organise time off work for treatment, and plan how you are going to pay for treatment, for example. It’s a good idea to find time to get both you and your partner fertility fit, in both mind and body, to maximise your opportunity for fertility treatment success.

You need to educate yourself about the treatment plan, to understand the time frame of treatment, the side effects and what each stage of treatment involves. Whilst your fertility specialist can help with the practical side of fertility treatment, they are not able to provide the emotional support you may need. So, it’s a good idea to talk to people who have been through the process of treatment, to ask questions. Get a counsellor that specialises in helping with infertility, as they can be an invaluable support for you personally. It can be difficult to express your emotions to those who don’t understand the distress you may be going through.

There are many charities, communities and social media fertility support groups out there, to help you understand that you are not alone, and they really understand what you are going through, to help you on your fertility journey. I found writing a journal helped me face my emotions and develop coping strategies to deal with them. The journal was a support in the next cycle of IVF, as it’s hard to remember what you are going through at the time. With so much hormonal change, and sometimes the experiences that you go through, you want to block out and not remember. But you need to stay focused on the current course of treatment and hope for a more positive outcome this time around.

Infertility is one of the biggest challenges that life can throw at you. No matter how long your fertility journey may be, try to be resilient and manage the agonising waiting and anticipation through mindfulness practices and coping strategies. Try to learn to observe your feelings, thoughts, and how your body is coping. It’s important to learn how to take care of yourself and your emotional wellbeing. One of the most challenging aspects of advanced fertility treatment is dealing with the emotional ups and downs. Whether through family, friends, or fertility professionals, try to make sure and get the support you need.

If you would like to start practicing fertility yoga to help benefit your reproductive health and boost overall wellbeing, you can find out all about it here: http://www.fertilityyoga.co.uk/infertility-yoga/

Each stage of a fertility journey can bring extreme highs and low of emotions, and each person will cope with these emotions differently. Trying to keep yourself level-headed to manage these constant flows of emotions is difficult. You need to find coping strategies to manage stress and help you and your partner stay calm and positive on your fertility journey.

1. Be realistic
Learn to accept what you can and cannot be in control of. Ask for help from the fertility specialists; the doctors and nurses will guide you through the process every step of the way and give you advice. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, however minor or insufficient you may think they are – it really does take the pressure off, reduces fear of the unknown and eliminates unnecessary worrying. Try to make notes of your questions before your appointments, and ask for helpline telephone numbers for out of hours when the clinic is closed, to get reassurance so that anxiety does not build up. Treatment plans can be over months, and there will be ups and downs as you go through your treatment regime.

2. Recognise the hormonal changes
Be in tune with your emotions. Having hormonal treatment and fertility drugs can produce side effects and change your mood dramatically throughout a day and over periods of time during fertility treatment. Recognise that it’s the medication and try to accept your emotions, however overwhelming they may be. It’s ok to express your emotions, to cry or scream – you just need to let go of these emotional blockages. It’s important your partner and family realise that it’s your hormonal treatment, and give you space to express your feelings; ask them to avoid any unnecessary rows or upset if your response is not as expected. Your emotions will settle and pass as you go through fertility treatment. If you have been through the process before, or had many cycles of IVF, etc, you get to remember how you felt last time and as you approach each stage again, you know that you’re not going to feel like this forever.

3. Relationships
It’s important for both you and your partner to be deeply connected; you are in this together, even if only one of you needs fertility treatment. Try to prioritise your relationship over the pressures and expectations. It is important to acknowledge the stress and how you and your partner are feeling emotionally. Don’t try to lay blame or guilt on each other, keep working together to overcome and manage the things that you can both control. Make time to carry on with normal life as best you can, as infertility can be all consuming and isolate you from family members and friends, especially if they are pregnant or experiencing the joy of having a family.

4. Stay positive
I know it’s hard when you are feeling frustrated and angry if treatment is not going well or you feel you are not getting support, but try to stay positive by using positive affirmations or mantra. Be open and talk to those people close to you. Try mind-body approach therapy, such as yoga or mindfulness, to help process your emotions. There is a wealth of literature to learn from about the emotions you are experiencing, infertility support networks for advice from other people in similar situations as you, and professional trained fertility experts. If you are feeling low and vulnerable, it’s ok to ask for help and support. Whilst going through fertility treatment is very personal to you, you are not alone on your journey.

If you are currently trying to conceive and are looking for ways to relax or promote fertility, why not order a copy of my Fertility Yoga DVD.

Summertime is an ideal opportunity to break old habits and start to improve your health and wellbeing – which will boost your fertility. With the longer warmer days and holiday season, summertime can make you feel more energetic –and hopefully more sexually energetic! Summertime is a good time to increase your sexual activity when trying to conceive.

Summertime can improve the chances of successful fertility treatment

For those needing assisted fertility treatment and IVF to conceive, then summer time is the perfect time to have your treatment. Studies found ‘that women undergoing fertility treatments who, had been exposed to more sunlight, higher temperatures and less rain in the month before their IVF, had over a third higher successful pregnancy rates!’

A team of researchers lead by Dr Simon Wood, at the Countess of Chester Hospital, found that those having had IVF cycles during the summer months with the longer days, needed lower doses of drugs to stimulate ovulation. Dr Wood analysed the outcomes of fertility treatment, carried out on 266 women who had two cycles, one during April to September and the other performed between October and March. The pregnancy rate during the summer was 15.7 percent compared to 7.5 percent in the winter. The study concluded that the extended daylight hours benefited the outcomes of IVF cycles. However if age is a deciding factor for you, then it is better to get fertility treatment sooner, rather than wait for the longer daylight hours.

Is the key vitamin D – during summertime?

Dr. Frank Vandekerckhove, a reproductive medicine specialist, carried out research with more than 11,000 patients, over a six-year study at the University of Ghent in Belgium, to determine if there were any patterns as to when the most successes in conception occurred. Although the weather conditions in the month that the actual IVF cycle took place didn’t matter—it was surprisingly the month preceding IVF that scientists saw a pattern emerge and that more sunshine increased pregnancy. He stated that “it probably had a positive effect on the quality of the oocytes [immature eggs] that were recruited in the weeks before ovarian stimulation started”.
The increase in sunlight boosts vitamin D, which is a factor in a successful pregnancy, as vitamin D improves egg quality, regulation of sex hormones, and implantation rates, by boosting the levels of progesterone and oestrogen – so good to know if you are having IVF this summer!
For men, vitamin D helps with the development of the nucleus of the sperm cells, which in turn leads to better sperm count and quality. So as summer arrives, check with your vitamin D levels with your and head outside in the sunshine!

If you are currently trying to conceive and are looking for ways to relax or promote fertility, why not order a copy of my Fertility Yoga DVD.

“However long the night, the dawn will break.”

Being on a fertility journey can be mentally, physically and emotionally challenging and can take years. How do you cope with the unknown on the first cycle of fertility treatment, or cope with the stress of having many attempts of treatment? How do you pick yourself up after each cycle of IVF? How do you manage with the stress and disappointment to be able to move forward with new hope and courage on the next stage of your fertility journey? The stress and anxiety of trying to conceive can put pressure on your relationships, your job, and finances, and ultimately taking a toll on your health and wellbeing.

Feeling devastated and a failure, as each month passes without falling pregnant can put pressure on you and your family. How do you cope when you feel everyone around is happily having babies. Do you feel resentment and start to isolate your shelf from family and friends. Infertility can cause emotional issues, how can you learn to manage your feelings and thoughts on your fertility journey?

Breathe away stress and tension

“Breathe in ..slowly..calmy..mindfully..breathe out”

By learning stress reduction techniques you can not only learn tools to help you mange stress in everyday life, but also to empower you in situations when your fertility is in the hands of the fertility clinics and doctors managing your fertility treatment.

By nurturing the mind and body through relaxations and complementary therapies you can focus more positively, stay calm and accept where you are at each stage of treatment. This will aid your recovery of distress and disappointment to enable you to move forward to the next stage, with hope to thrive mentally and physically. By feeling better your can have a more positive outlook and look at different perspectives on a situation, as you many have to live and cope with your fertility journey for months or even years. This is when complementary therapies to manage stress and improve mental clarity and can benefit the patient alongside western medicine, to heal and focus on the wellbeing of the patient on their journey to having a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Participants on the Mind Body Program at the Mind Body Institute in the US, state that they can make better decision and manage stress, by developing coping strategies by learning relaxation techniques to gain better control over their health. Alice Domar the director of Mind/Body Centre for Women’s Health at Harvard Medical School demonstrated the evidence of stress relief is a study of 110 women trying to get pregnant for up to two years. They were split into three groups, the first receiving only fertility support, the second group focused on relaxation therapies to include yoga and meditation and the third group was just given fertility treatment. “After a year, only 20% of the women on medication alone became pregnant compared to about half the women in both types of support groups”[i] For men to benefit to, studies show that men who have a regular yoga practice can enhance their reproductive health, by improving the success rate of conception by increasing sperm count and motility.

Are you worrying about being too stressed to conceive naturally or the onset of starting IVF or other assisted fertility treatments? The mental, emotional and physical wellbeing of couples suffering from fertility problems is vital, in preparing for pregnancy and a successful outcome. It can be a stressful roller-coaster at each stage of your journey.

About Lisa

During my 10 year fertility journey, I trained as a British Wheel of Yoga Teacher, and researched yoga for fertility, to help me manage my own stress and wellbeing on my fertility journey. I gave up my full time job in London and moved to Devon at 32 to focus on my fertility and yoga. Both my husband and I had investigations and discovered we both had fertility issues after 6 years of TTC, I had blocked fallopian tubes and my husband’s sperm mobility and count was low, so our only option was IVF with ISCI. My first IVF cycle sadly ended in a miscarriage at 14 weeks. The third IVF cycle I had a daughter Josephine, I was 36. After another two cycles I had twins Dexter and Isabelle, when I was 39.

Through my personal experiences and yoga research I designed a DVD – Fertility Yoga with Lisa Attfield. To help women and their partners increase their fertility chances, by reducing stress through yoga and relaxation, and to bring strengthen and flexibility to the mind and body to prepare for a healthy pregnancy. I have been a practicing yoga for 25 years, and teaching for 15 years in the local community and at retreats using yoga to improve emotional, physical and mental health and wellbeing.